How To Overcome Approach Anxiety

The term approach anxiety is used to describe the irrational fear of social interactions, fear of engaging in conversations. This anxiety often leads to social timidity. Although it is most common in dating and relationships, it can happen anywhere, at work, in school, or during family gatherings. It may originate from a variety of issues such as fear of what to say, fear of rejection, social pressure, negative experience, low self-esteem, fear of change, the satisfaction of current status. Approach anxiety can have debilitating effects or co-occur with social anxiety disorder.

What Is Approach Anxiety

Approach anxiety is the fear of initiating a conversation with someone new. This happens not only when you meet someone new but also during an interview, among coworkers, or even right before a presentation. Sometimes you may find yourself in a tricky position. You are at a social event with everything going smoothly until you suddenly find yourself in the spotlight.

You are the centre of attention, all eyes are on you, everyone is waiting for you to say something, then you start to feel jittery, sweaty palms, your tongue feels heavy in your mouth, there is a queasy feeling in your stomach, it feels so hot and you realize you are stuck. Fidgeting on what to say and how to approach the situation.

Many people think approach anxiety only occurs in relationships, dating, when you’re around your crush, or just as you are about to walk up to that attractive guy or lady. Although this may be the main reason for some people, it is partly false. Why? because not every individual has an experience tied to these reasons. For others, it could be because of situations such as academic tests and exams, work projects, family gathering.

Related: How To Overcome Shyness and Social Anxiety

What Are The Signs Of Approach Anxiety

Symptoms of approach anxiety include:

Sweating: sweaty palms, excess sweating around the armpit or underarms, the neck region, forehead, and feet soles.

Nervousness: feeling jittery, easily scared with mood swings are symptoms associated with approach anxiety and other medical and psychological problems.

Feeling unable to speak, you are constantly swallowing your saliva, and experience a choked up feeling.

Difficulty breathing: increased heartbeat, tightness around the chest or holding your breath for a while.

Shaky voice: your voice may sound nervous, squeaky, or tiny, followed by an inability to speak out loud or confidently.

Feeling faint: lightheadedness may occur during approach anxiety

Averted gaze: people who suffer from approach anxiety have difficulty maintaining eye contact, their eyes keep moving about without a particular spot and are usually focused on the ground.

Stiff body movement: your body seems to have a mind of its own, your neck feels stiff, awkward body posture and staying in the same position for a long time.

Some common thoughts associated with approach anxiety are;

• Anxiety when talking to someone new
• Fear of being criticized
• Inferiority complex
• Lack of confidence
• Feeling like people are not interested

Related: How To Overcome Shyness and Social Anxiety

Why Do I Have Approach Anxiety?

Psychological research shows that your first encounter or perception of people influences your connection with that person and how long the relationship will last. There is a common belief that first impressions are everything.

This belief affects every individual so much that it has become a part of the subconscious. First impressions matter just as much as confidence and focusing on your strengths and physical looks. You have prepared a wonderful speech or presentation but find it difficult to deliver.

Research has proven that looking good and smelling nice help to boost confidence level. You get confused, overthink, doubt yourself and eventually give an average performance.

These thoughts are psychological and self-created from pressures, social standards, and extremely high expectations. You want to do so well that you question every step. Overthink how it will go, what others will say. These thoughts can slowly take control and reduce your confidence level. Here are some other reasons you may feel approach anxiety:

Negative self-talk: this could arise because of experiences or criticism. You constantly feel you are not good enough and don’t embrace positivity.

Low self-esteem: Individual upbringing, experiences, and environment have more influence on you than you can imagine. Someone who grows up amid abuse, violence, and trauma is more likely to have low self-esteem compared to others.

Insecurities: Letting your vulnerability take control can cause social timidity and fear of interactions when you pay more attention to your flaws instead of your strengths and values.

Expectations: Perfectionism and superior standards may lead to approach anxiety, especially if you see yourself fall short.